There is a great big world out there. Most people spend their whole lives trying to sink their teeth into a tiny piece. The most important thing I learned is that this world wasn't meant for me. God has much bigger plans for my life than trying to fit in with the current trends and, each day that I faithfully attempt to allow Christ to control my life, He shows me a better path. I am not perfect and I fail often but I wake up each morning asking Jesus Christ to light my path and keep me away from temptations and evil. Again, I fail every day. I gossip, swear, and question my life at some point in every single day, sometimes more than once. The point is, I am increasingly more aware of this and I turn my thoughts back to God as soon as I realize my mind has strayed.
I was presented with many life lessons which were opportunities to trust God's Will for my life. I was dumped, via the avoidance method, by a boyfriend who promised he would never leave me again. I was betrayed most heinously by people who claimed to be my close friends. I have cried on the floor next to a broken toilet, praying I would be able to figure out how to fix it. I have filled out more legal paperwork than Johnny Cochran. I was required to assume responsibility for an astronomical amount of debt that wasn't all mine. I have sobbed hysterically over missing my parents. I have thrown away dumpsters full of trash that at one time were considered treasures. I have stood on a ladder at the edge of the roof, too panic-stricken to get down. I have wondered if a Godly man exists who will be my helpmate or if I will be alone until my name is called.
What I have not done is lost faith in God; my Creator who knows me better than anyone. Who has a plan for these trials that I have endured. The God who picked me up off the couch on days when I could not find a good enough reason to do anything other than simply lay there and watch another episode of the Pioneer Woman. My Heavenly Father who, while painfully pruning so many branches in my life, tells me to wait a little longer. No, I don't always understand why, but I trust and believe in His wisdom. I have seen that self-pity is a sin and I don't want to be caught doing that when the Rapture happens (or the Zombie Apocalypse, whichever comes first).
God said that if we have the faith of a mustard seed, we can move mountains. My mother had a necklace full of mustard seeds that she used to wear as a reminder of the tiny bit of faith that is required of us. I still possess that necklace and look at it frequently. I'm sure I don't even have that much faith but I purposefully practice at it each day.
I will say that throughout everything I have had the support of the best friends in which anyone could hope. I am grateful for each act of kindness (some have been above and beyond what should even be asked of another person) and for the times they stepped up to remind me that God is in control.
Will I make it through today without a meltdown? I don't know. Will I make it through today? Yup. I sure will. Maybe not super gracefully, but I will make it and I will thank my Heavenly Father for all that the day encompassed.
