My mother was a sinner who was saved by grace, through the blood of Christ Jesus. She knew this and embraced it, as did our whole family. It was passed on by my Swedish Mission Covenant grandparents, aunts, and uncles, for which I am grateful. If anyone called my mom "spiritual" or "religious" she would squint her eyes and say "No, I'm not. It's a relationship, not a religion." Mom was never never afraid to speak her mind and I always admired that. The truth is, out of all the wonderful things I could say about her today, the only thing she'd want me to say is that she lived as a Christian and that following the Lord, no matter how difficult it seemed at times, was completely and totally worth it.
To quote my good friend, Beth, people do not just shoot straight to sainthood when they die. If they were a jerk here on earth then they are now a dead jerk. I tend to agree, especially when I hear some people recall others in a glowing review and I think to myself, um where was I for all that fabulous-ness? However, I also believe that time can soften all wounds and we tend to remember more of the good times than bad. I truly believe we are designed this way so we can heal from things in the past that weren't perfect. At some point we need to get over our issues and stop blaming the past and our parents for all of our problems. I have a half brother who still, 9 1/2 years after our dad died, has nothing good to say about him and can't let things go that happened back in the 1960's. At some point you have to assume responsibility for yourself and move on. Forgiveness is not for dad, Mike, it's for you so that your spirit can be free from anger and the grudge that's held.
I'm pretty sure neither of my parents achieved sainthood but I do believe that they were incredible people who loved and followed the Lord, would give you the shirt off their back, and do anything that was asked of them at any time. I am thankful the Lord gave me to them and for the examples they provided, both good and not so good. My parents taught us the rules of the Bible and to do our best each day, living as Christ commanded us. I couldn't have asked for more.
I wondered how I would feel on this day but here it is, after 6pm and I'm still alive and kicking. I'm not a crier, I didn't hit anyone, throw a fit, or expect something special but I wondered what I would do today; if it would be reserved for something, I don't know, magical? Well, I went to a doctor appointment, ran errands as usual, ate a dinner that wasn't her favorite and had a cake for dessert that she didn't like. I'm sure there will be another day for her favorite Swedish dinner of pork roast, baked spaghetti, mashed potatoes and gravy along with a chocolate sheet cake. I don't think you can plan the special moments in life because when we try, they go seriously wrong and I didn't want her first heavenly birthday to be a disaster. We will enjoy that day when it comes, eating ourselves into a food coma with all that baked spaghetti and talking about her, my dad and all of our other relatives who have left us here. It just won't be today.
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