The Lost Tape Dispenser and Other Pretty Things

My parents saved everything they were ever given which means that I have absolutely everything and anything you could think of in my house.  However, I can not find anything.  Not one thing that I'm looking for.  Ever.  Today it's the tape dispenser.  My mom had a packing tape dispenser that she used to tape up boxes when she would ship goodies to my Auntie Barb.  I know I've used it in the two years since she's been gone, but I can't find it today.

I have a really bad habit of putting things back where she left them.  It's not because it makes sense to me where she stored it,  but because "when she gets back" she's going to want to know where her tape dispenser is.  I have no idea why I think this way, but this has prevented me from parting with a ton of amazing crap.  Most of it doesn't mean anything other than the item was hers or my dads (and some of it is in the same spot!).  There's a knit hat from when mom was in high school, my dad's measuring tape holders, and dollar store trinkets they received for Christmas from people I didn't even know.  The drawers in my mom's big dresser have never even been purged; time and fear of her needing to look for something later keep me from doing it.

Part of it, too, is that I saw how hard my parents had to work for the things they had and I don't ever take that for granted.  I think to when my mom was making probably $5 an hour as the manager of Owen's Western Wear and how long it took for her to earn the money for my Cabbage Patch Doll or whatever thing I would have died without that Christmas (and, yes, I still have my CPK's in the cupboard).  So many friends have very little left of their childhood, due to circumstances beyond their control, and it's really sad.  I think I have mostly everything.  Dolls, ballet costumes, Barbie stuff, a Rubik's cube, formal dresses, purses, I could go on forever.

Our "stuff of life" carries emotion and I know I hold on to things for their memories.  I only keep things with good memories.  Funny how we do that.  There are shirts I can't wear and other outdated items that I have kept just because a friend gave it to me.  I have been blessed with friends who are giving in that way and I try to pass that along to my other friends.  Some of them get it and some of them don't.  Some people have never had anyone be kind to them for no reason and without expecting anything in return.  Megan probably has more Hello Kitty stuff than she will ever possibly use and I'm sure Katie has had to secretly yard sale some of her Americana treasures that I have brought her.  Those kind of presents, to me, just mean "I'm thinking of you" and nothing more.  My friends have always been my sanctuary and my heart and I like to remind them that they are appreciated.  They do the same for me.

I am going through my parent's treasures slowly, so don't be surprised if you get something in the mail some day.  I love to read Martha Stewart's magazine and dream of a house organized to her specifications but I probably wouldn't be able to find where she put things either.  Back to the hunt for the tape dispenser.  Or to Walmart for a new one.  Then I'll have two.