Pennies Are Only Worth A Cent

This past weekend I had an incredible opportunity to have an emotional and tender conversation with a beautiful, long-lost friend of many years.  Come to find out, she has been through many of the same things I have in the past year so we were catching up about men, dating, being a single 40 something, and making ourselves a priority.  One main thread of conversation was dating; how can we feel good enough, how do we keep the contact going without compromising ourselves and our faith, and how do we compare to everything else that is out there.  We started talking about men and their contact with us; how they text good morning and good night every day for weeks, check in with us, and flirt, then BAM.  Gone.  Poof.  Just like that.   Vanished with no goodbye or explanation.  I said to her "Oh, he found a shinier penny."  I will never forget, as she looked up at me at that moment, how her green eyes widened with clarity, realization, and wonder.  She said "yes".

One of my lifelong best friends, Katie, coined that phrase.  It's when something or someone seemingly more interesting catches the man's attention and he transitions from daily "thinking about you" texts and phone calls into virtually nothing. He didn't change his level of contact with you for no reason; he found a shinier penny.  Sometimes she seems prettier or nicer and sometimes she just tells him how handsome he is and he's attracted to that.  Either way, we become yesterday's headline.

Sadly, we are not always let in on that little secret, so we continue our end of the 'relationship', texting and calling, and they act like we are clingy and bothering them.  We get sparse messages in return telling us they're busy or they have to go, if they even bother to answer at all.   In most cases, it's for our benefit because, if he can be swayed that easily, he's not the one.  But it still hurts.  Sometimes you've loved him for a long time and sometimes you've just met, but either way it still makes us wonder what is wrong with us and why we were not even worth a "Dear Jane" text or other explanation.  The answer is nothing.  There is nothing wrong with us.  He's not the one and we should appreciate the shinier penny coming along and distracting him so we can seek out what is truly meant for our lives.  Unfortunately,  we don't always see it that way when our hearts are involved.  We try to hold on and make things work with someone who clearly doesn't want to be around us anymore.

All I can say is, know your worth and let the shinier penny have him.  There is a big, big world out there full of new and exciting things and, I believe with my whole heart, someone who will think we are the best silver dollar he's ever seen.